How many of us have reached the age where we have experienced the following from taking unhealthy highs:
- We don't get to sleep at a reasonable hour and quite possibly might murder a co-worker
- We drink on a week night and either call in sick or make a bad impression on our boss.
- On that note, hangovers are no longer just a headache, they are feelings of regret and hoping no one replies to your drunk sexts once sober.
- Vegging out with chips, chocolate and ice cream will ALWAYS result in shitting (your friends bathrooms have all now been broken-in)
- Not looking/feeling hot? You took a hot selfie with 3 filters layered on top last week. Post it.
There comes a time in our life, and I believe it is at the ripe ole' age of 28, that we come to a fork in the road. We have to decide; will we take the high-road, or just the highs? Really this question is posed to encourage us to find our 'healthy highs' in life. The ones that not only make us feel good in the short-term but benefit us in the long-term.
There are variety of things we do in our young lives that give us a sense of high, making us believe we've found a shortcut to happiness. For example; seeking attention from emotionally unavailable men, instead of being vulnerable for available men in the long-term. Drinking and eating shit every week instead of making healthy choices and finding a balance. Spending your weekends doing things for other people instead of doing things that you, yourself, enjoy.
So why do we take these highs that have such devastatingly low lows?
I find a majority of the highs we take are, as mentioned above, us trying to find a shortcut to happiness. I know when I'm not feeling too 'hot' I'll have a drink or two and feel my confidence shoots up. In reality, I think I'd feel more confident in the long term if I worked hard towards a body goal. And what's best? I'll have actually earned that feeling.
Below are 3 examples of Highs and their sub-sequent 'Healthy High' alternatives.
High: Unavailable Men
Healthy High: Mr. RightIn a generation that's finally coined a word to describe emotionally draining men; fuckboys, it's time for us to recognize these 'highs' and avoid them. Okay, what would life be without a few 'fun' nights, but trying to drag those temporary highs into long-term relationships is not going to help. The only way you will benefit yourself in the long-term is by learning to love yourself, knowing when 'fun' is actually fun (not a distraction), and to be vulnerable. If you're vulnerable for someone else's love before you love yourself, you're in for a rough road.
Healthy High: BalancingThere's a saying; drinking is simply borrowing happiness from tomorrow. And if you are drinking to get over something, I imagine there wasn't much happiness to borrow from in the first place. Long term, you want to enjoy the drinks you drink, and not hit a low when it's over. Don't use drinking to move past something you're not over. In my experience, if you drink because you're in a bad mood, you become a bad drunk. You experience a bad emotional hangover too. In the game of life, it's hurt now, or hurt later...
Healthy High: LoveIn Pretty Woman, Julia Roberts states "the bad stuff is easier to believe". I never quite understood why it's easier to believe, but I knew it was true. Now that I'm older I know it's easier to believe because it's easier to hate. The hard part in life is finding the silver lining. We all have to vent at some point, that's just life. But if we continue to do it, dwell on it, and don't seek a conclusion to it all, we are stuck on that 'high' of hatred. As we move into the Age of Engagement, we are starting to seek friends we have mutual 'likes' in common with, not mutual 'enemies'. This is us finding our love; in our friends, in ourselves and in our lives.
So what spurred on this blog post about Healthy Highs? Let's just say the more money I spent on drinks, and the more energy I spent on unavailable men, the more hungover and hurt I've become. I'm going to learn to have fun for the right reasons. If you're sad, be sad! Taking temporary highs do not add up to taking the high-road. They just keep you distracted from something you'll eventually have to deal with.