On the flip side, have you ever been checked out and you cringe?
What causes this extreme range in reactions?
I came across a cartoon that, in one frame, had a woman exclaiming 'bald guys are hot' as a bald man walked past. In the next frame, she changed her statement as another bald man approached to say 'hot guys are hot'. Clearly she determined that being bald is only hot if she perceives the person attached to the bald head hot as well. Otherwise, being bald can be, and apparently is, a turn-off for her.
I was checked out today when walking home from work and it felt great! That being said, only moments earlier, I was checked out by another guy, and it wasn't as appealing. It really made wonder, is mutual attraction so strong that it can cause me to speak to one stranger yet pepper spray another?
When I was in San Francisco a man approached my friends and I while walking down the street. We were almost offended by the notion, but as soon as we walked into our hotel, a typically good looking muscle man, popped out of the elevator, went straight to my friend, picked her up and said 'you're so cute'. There was no offence taken this time around...
So it boils down to: are our boundaries determined on a 'cute' or 'not-cute' basis? Is the 'spark' we speak so abundantly about simply mutual attraction?
Depending on your level of attraction for someone, the following things may be perceived either flirty or creepy.
- Checking someone out
- Asking for someone's number
- Approaching someone on the street
- Talking to someone all night at the bar
Even if one person finds your attempts creepy, another person may find it flirty. Don't take someone's personal preferences to heart, there's no shame in your game.
How do you know if someone thinks your sexy?
Is the timing right, or are they rushing to get somewhere?
2. Body Language
Is their body language inviting you in, or pushing you out?
Are they involved in the conversation, or are you playing 20 questions by yourself?
Are they looking at you, or their phone?
5. You Never Know
In this day and age, approaching someone is a big deal. Regardless of if you came across as a creep, at least you tried. To quote He's Just Not That Into You:
"I may dissect each little thing and put myself out there but at least that means I still care... I may do a lot of stupid shit but I'm still a lot closer to love than you are."
To sum up, I'd rather be perceived as a creep, or creeped out by a guy who tried, than never try at all. It really makes me wonder... Just how many guys have I creeped out? (Trick question - ALL guys think my 'flirty' is 'creepy').