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Saturday, September 19, 2015

What Are Your Tipping Points?



Definition: When you use your head to tip your heart. 

When it comes down the heart, what makes one connection stronger than another. How do you decide what connections are worthy of exploration, and if circumstances are difficult, and a choice has to be made, what connection do you chose?

I believe your Tipping Points are the balancing act between your heart and your head. Your heart has already said yes, but your head is saying; it's not that easy.

Back in the day, you'd be lucky to find a connection with someone in your town. But in today's modern world, your town is a town of billions, and the probability of making a deep connection, perhaps even multiple, is more likely than the past. With the knowledge that we will only meet more people in our lives, and connections are bound to happen, how can we deal with the un-lucky situation in which connections overlap? Whether it's a decision of creating a relationship with one person over another, or not exploring a connection at all, these choices are not easy, and despite all the love in your heart, your head has to help.

Some movies would have us believe that if someone chooses another person over you, they're just not that into us (e.g. He's Just Not That Into You) whilst other movies won't deny the reality of a connection, and identify tipping points that made their head tip their heart in another direction (e.g. The Way We Were). 

Connections cannot be compared, or prioritized, using your heart. Each connection is unique and unexpected. That being said, when you connect with more than one person, a choice has to be made. This is where you identify your Tipping Points and one can only hope the odds are forever in their favor.

In Friends, Ross created a list between Rachel and Julie. He knew he had a connection with both of them so he had to compare them logically...
Julie: Similar jobs, right timing, already together, not Rachem
Rachel: Just a waitress
Although his list seemed to tip in favour of Julie, he simply couldn't articulate the points he loved about Rachel. Not Rachem meant: 
- Julie didn't have the highschool crush history
- Julie didn't have the family connection
- Julie didn't share the same friend circle. 
Those were Ross' tipping points...

Any questions that follow a choice between two connections are logical. Even if you go with someone for a 'feeling' vs. a reason, that feeling has merit behind it. It's not just your heart saying yes, it's your head agreeing.

Some Common Tipping Points:

1. You met them first
2. You have more in common with them
3. You live closer to one than the other
4. You have a history with them
5. You're lives are intertwined (friends circle, family)

If you find yourself like Julie did, after Ross tipped the scale in Rachel's favour, do not fret. Use this experience to remember how amazing a connection feels, and that someone's Tipping Points are out of your control. Be who you are, feel your feelings, and one day, a new connection will form and if you're lucky, neither of you will need to use your head. 

- georgeelizabeth
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