How To Declare Relationship Bankruptcy

So I checked my finances after the holiday season and it turns out, I should have taken those 'Debit means no debt' commercials a little more seriously. Everything is in the red, and wasn't just my wallet that was hit hard. In addition to horrible finances, I was also in a slew of horrible 'relationships'. Not meaning to say I was dating anyone in particular, or that my secret crush even knew I existed, but overall, my relationships were as red as my finances. I had decided it was time to get back to black, and since dumping a few guys is easier than earning more money, I started there.

The Question: How can I find an 'investment worthy relationship' with all this 'relationship debt' hanging over my head? 

The Answer: Declare Relationship Bankruptcy. It won't be as easy as Michael Scott in The Office (publicly proclaiming he's bankrupt - though I think it's pretty obvious that I've been bankrupt in the relationship department for quite some time), but there is a way to do it!

I no longer have any booty calls, no more swooning over guys I can't have or writing a penpal I'll never meet. I'm starting with a fresh slate, of course my credit (aka my ego) is taking a hit (no late night hangouts, no textual chemistry), but my mind will feel fresh! 

I want to focus on having mutually beneficial relationships in my life, which is next to impossible when I keep falling back on a safety net of half-assed ones. I invested heavily in these 'high risk relationships' over the holidays, looking for that winter love we all want - but it's time to cut my losses.

How To Declare Relationship Bankruptcy In 7 Steps:

1. Delete their numbers - no drunken impulse purchases
2. Unfollow, unlike, unfriend - equivalent to no window shopping
3. Phase them out OR if it's more serious let them know - nothing says "I'm not talking to you" much like telling them you aren't talking to them. Unless the relationship was serious, probably best to phase them out.
4. Let everyone know - Nothing sucks more than having the person you're trying to get over brought up in a casual conversation. Make them the 'Voldemort' of conversations - "He who shall not be named".
5. Find an alternative to their emotionally expensive addiction - hang out with friends or do something new.
6. Switch from RomComs to reality - Don't sell yourself on receiving a grand gesture from people who had no return on investment
7. Profit - get back to black, and yourself, and invest in people that show some return 

Over the years, relationships will build again, so it's important to know when to pull your investment! Having 'relationship debts' earning more interest than they were originally worth, is taxing on your emotions, and becomes a much larger burden over the long run. 

By declaring Relationship Bankruptcy, I now have an entire year to drum up some fresh investments and hopefully one will pay off BIG!

- georgeelizabeth

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What Are Your Tipping Points?

Definition: When you use your head to tip your heart. 

When it comes down the heart, what makes one connection stronger than another. How do you decide what connections are worthy of exploration, and if circumstances are difficult, and a choice has to be made, what connection do you chose?

I believe your Tipping Points are the balancing act between your heart and your head. Your heart has already said yes, but your head is saying; it's not that easy.

Back in the day, you'd be lucky to find a connection with someone in your town. But in today's modern world, your town is a town of billions, and the probability of making a deep connection, perhaps even multiple, is more likely than the past. With the knowledge that we will only meet more people in our lives, and connections are bound to happen, how can we deal with the un-lucky situation in which connections overlap? Whether it's a decision of creating a relationship with one person over another, or not exploring a connection at all, these choices are not easy, and despite all the love in your heart, your head has to help.

Some movies would have us believe that if someone chooses another person over you, they're just not that into us (e.g. He's Just Not That Into You) whilst other movies won't deny the reality of a connection, and identify tipping points that made their head tip their heart in another direction (e.g. The Way We Were). 

Connections cannot be compared, or prioritized, using your heart. Each connection is unique and unexpected. That being said, when you connect with more than one person, a choice has to be made. This is where you identify your Tipping Points and one can only hope the odds are forever in their favor.

In Friends, Ross created a list between Rachel and Julie. He knew he had a connection with both of them so he had to compare them logically...
Julie: Similar jobs, right timing, already together, not Rachem
Rachel: Just a waitress
Although his list seemed to tip in favour of Julie, he simply couldn't articulate the points he loved about Rachel. Not Rachem meant: 
- Julie didn't have the highschool crush history
- Julie didn't have the family connection
- Julie didn't share the same friend circle. 
Those were Ross' tipping points...

Any questions that follow a choice between two connections are logical. Even if you go with someone for a 'feeling' vs. a reason, that feeling has merit behind it. It's not just your heart saying yes, it's your head agreeing.

Some Common Tipping Points:
1. You met them first
2. You have more in common with them
3. You live closer to one than the other
4. You have a history with them
5. You're lives are intertwined (friends circle, family)

If you find yourself like Julie did, after Ross tipped the scale in Rachel's favour, do not fret. Use this experience to remember how amazing a connection feels, and that someone's Tipping Points are out of your control. Be who you are, feel your feelings, and one day, a new connection will form and if you're lucky, neither of you will need to use your head. 

- georgeelizabeth
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