That was my Facebook status after a date with a man 20 years my senior. Yes, I made another 'Bachelor Years' mistake, clearly this guy was a forever bachelor, but his commentary on my personality really caught me off guard. At first I was in denial, but eventually I wondered what my give-away was...
When I think of high maintenance I think of Paris Hilton, little dogs in purses, having men buy you everything, never being alone, requiring constant attention, being whiney etc. I always thought that since I've been single for... well, forever, that I couldn't possibly be high maintenance because I maintain myself.
While I was telling my friend about the audacity this guy had to call me high maintenance, it hit me; well actually I walked into a hanging basket... but it was the actions thereafter that made me realize I am quite possibly one of the highest maintenance people I know, at least in certain areas of my life. I walked into the hanging basket, screamed, ran, and only stopped when I figured 'the bee had stopped chasing me.' That was clue one. Still, after that brief near-death experience, I continued to say 'how dare he' and 'that he is so rude' when I walked up to the counter at the beach and asked for a diet coke. Only after handing me a second bottle that I deemed cold enough, did I really get the idea. This is high maintenance. Who cares if I'm the one maintaining it. He was right "there's a lot to maintain".
I work hard... well I work, for my money. I pay my own rent, my own bills, I have dog I pick up poop after, and then I took note of my high maintenance costs; tanning, cleaner, Brita filter (can't drink tap water even if I try), shopping every weekend, running away from bee's, requesting colder/fizzier drinks, turning into a Monica when people come over (don't use that towel, the fan stays on level 2, use Chrome for YouTube), having a car AND a bus pass (because parking my car is cheap on weekends but busses save my hair from frizz during the week), the list just goes ON and ON!
So how did I give out a 'high maintenance' vibe in a one hour date?
Did my disgust at his cargo shorts and mandals really show?
Did I talk too much about shopping?
Did I look too tanned for the season?
Did my not-so-natural-blonde eyebrows give way to my perfectly touched up roots?
Did my non-chipped nails and cat-eye eyeliner show too much attention to detail?
Did I really say that the farms in Abbotsford smell 'like the country'?
In a short answer; yes.
Now here comes the real kicker; is being high maintenance a bad thing?
I'm not afraid to get my hair wet or my hands dirty. I can camp for 6 days in a field at Sasquatch. I don't always shower everyday. It can take me 2 hours to get ready or it can take me 5 minutes. I can burn and sweat in the sun or I can sit in the shade. I don't always like to drink, but I can sure as hell get drunk.
Where I think I'm going with this is that yes, I am high maintenance, and no, it's not a bad thing. I find pleasure in things that may be deemed an effort to someone else. I can also find pleasure in things that someone else may find lazy; like sleeping in until 6pm or wearing Uggs in public (yeah whatever SJP - it happens).
I believe everyone has areas of their life that would be considered high maintenance to someone else. It's not just the 'Paris Hiltons', it's the 'never-miss-a-game Hockey fanatics' (whereas I could care less) or the 'picky food people' (I can eat anything/anywhere - seriously). If someone has a passion in life, that doesn't match with your passions, at least offer it some respect, because buddy - slaving away on a boat you don't know how to drive (because you don't want the commitment of leasing an apartment) is just as high maintenance as someone thinking shopping is their cardio. So don't throw around 'High Maintenance' like it's an insult, #OwnIt.
That was the funniest after date stories! You are so lucky he exposed his jerky self so soon so you didn't have to waste any more time!!! He was so so off base!!LOL!ReplyDelete
Lauren at adorn la femme
So glad you liked it! I just checked out your blog - love your style/posts. Looking forward to more!Delete
Love the post!ReplyDelete
Great blog, so I'm a New follower on bloglovin =)
Hi Diana - thanks! Love your style/blog!Delete
high-maintenance usually means that the individual is emotionally needy or prone to over-dramatizing a situation to gain attentionReplyDelete