Learn More About The Undomesticated & being Twentysomething in the city.

Monday, February 12, 2018

It's Not About You.

As I enter the last year of my twenties, I’m pushed to think about my reactions to others.

I recently binge watched all the seasons of HBO’s Girls, and the one thing that became evident was; we are all self-absorbed, individuals, who cannot control others.

That being said, we tend to find people to blame for how we feel. And we somehow think that other people’s intentions are to hurt you. It’s clear, now, that if we are taking a motto into our thirties, it should be: ‘This isn’t about you.’

Shitty things happen in life that are out of your control. For example, your best friend could start dating your ex-boyfriend, you could get ghosted, or you could get cheated on. 

And these situations will cause you a range of emotions: hurt, deceit, rage, insecurities. "Why did they do this to me" is the sentiment oozing out of every pore of your body. But the real answer is quite simple: they didn’t. They did it for themselves. We are so self-absorbed that we believe people are doing things to intentionally hurt us, we seem to forget that everyone else is as equally self-absorbed as we are. Though sometimes people may have the intention of hurting you, most often than not, they were thinking about themselves.

You cannot control people. They, like you, are individuals who will do things that makes them happy. Whether that’s fucking your ex, or cheating on you.

We all have insecurities, and we all do things to not feel them. Many times, we too have done things that, no doubt, hurt someone else, but we put our feelings above theirs. Our needs, our desires, our lessons to learn. And that sums up our twenties. But it doesn't have to follow us into our thirties.

It sucks to realize that things in life aren't always about you, and that you can't always find a person to assign blame for your feelings. Who knew that we are no longer the centre of attention we once thought we were. I’ve recalled countless times where I've hated people for doing things to me, when in reality, they were doing it for themselves. It doesn't mean you have to get over it, or forgive them, you can still cut them out of your life, but until we realize that it wasn't about us, we can't really move on. 

It all comes down to being an individual and recognizing that you can’t control others just like they can’t control you.

It seems bitter to enter my thirties assuming no one cares about me, or takes me into consideration, but when entering any relationship you have to communicate what’s important to you. Outline your expectations, and if they are broken, at least you know you did what you could.

When you feel like someone has wronged you, it’s important to remember, it’s not about you. When George Costanza breaks up with people he always says ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ and I know it’s a line, but I would take it as truth. It’s always about them. So focus on you.

What am I hoping to achieve knowing 'it's not about me'? 
I’m hoping I’ll hold myself to a higher standard. I’m hoping as my thirties roll on, I’ll take it a step further. From recognizing everyone is self-absorbed, to becoming less self-absorbed myself. I need to let friends know what I would do for them, and what I expect from them in return. I need to let ex’s live their lives as they see fit, without assuming every move they make is about me. Give back to my community, participate in causes. And finally, start considering other people’s feelings. 

At the end of the day, if you feel hurt by someone, it gives a little bit of reassurance in knowing, it’s not about you.

- georgeelizabeth
www.theundomesticated.com 

14 comments:

  1. Thank you. I needed to read this

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So glad you enjoyed reading it, hope it helped in some way!

      Elizabeth | www.theundomesticated.com

      Delete
    2. Getting bitcoin and other cryptocurrency assets recovered successfully from online thefts and investments schemes requires you contacting a real and expert financial technology security specialist which is QUADHACKED@gmail.com , this cryptocurrency and financial assets recovery specialist are reliable and trustworthy and are also the best at helping individuals and corporate organizations retrieve BTC, USDT, ETH OR any other form of financial assets lost to phishing scams and online thefts.
      Quadhacked helped me recover all i lost to a financial scam ,I invested in a company total of 6.7088BTC and 28,000USDT
      in which i was assigned a broker who ripped me off completely ,made me false promises and ROI (return on investment and profit i was promised was not true), I was heartbroken and disappointed , fortunately , i got referred to Quadhacked technological company who helped me secure my recovery completely by hacking the brokers and perpetrators who i invested my money with . Contact Quadhacked if you are seeking any form of financial recovery .

      Delete
  2. If you wanna know whether your partner is cheating on you,kindly contact "hackingloop6 @ gmail . com, I tried his service and provided the closure I needed,I promised to share this online for anyone in need of hacking assistance.he's also on WhatsApp + 1 484 540 - 0785..he's a legit hacker,tell him i referred you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. you need a trustworthy hacker to hack into your partner device ? you can trust Spy-lord i tried him and he’s very reliable and trustworthy now i can say am among one of the happiest married women alive i promised to tell the whole world about him.I hope you can thank me later you can reach them CONTACT: Email: invisiblespyloop@gmail.com whatsapp or text +1 (517) 234-3214 . you can also reach him if your funds in hang in online trading platform like expert-option ,cal financial, Analyst , coinspot, Ctxprime and many more .he is really the best.

    ReplyDelete
  4. No one deserve to be cheated on you can confront your cheating spouse with evidence,i was able to spy on my cheating husband phone without finding out.....it really helped me during my divorce ....you can contact invisiblespyloop@gmail.com whatsapp or text him on +1 (517) 234-3214 for spying and hacking social networks, school servers, icloud and much more,viber chats hack, Facebook messages and yahoo messenger,calls log and spy call recording, monitoring SMS text messages remotely,cell phone GPS location tracking, spy on Whats app Messages also improve dept on credit cardshis services are cheap and affordable .

    ReplyDelete
  5. The safest hacker whose integrity speaks for all around the world,Michael team. Play smart by working with a reliable hacker on cyberlord582@gmail.com
    whatsapp or text +1 518 468 2985

    ReplyDelete
  6. I know a very reliable means you can use to find out....you can go ahead to contact Spylordhack at gmail dot com She is a private hacker that can get into your partner’s phone anonymously.
But before you do any of these, you need to make a decision that you are sure you want to do this. I have been in a scenario as such and i must tell you,it was a hard decision to make but i made my choice. Well,i got to solve it before it was too late. I implore you to think about it throughly before sending him a request.... Whatsapp or Text: +1 315 784 1311

    ReplyDelete
  7. I can't over emphasize the professionalism of Spylordhack at gmail dot com i have spent several hours monitoring my wife and my brother flirting literally and there has not been any technical malfunctions.. believe it or not, I just found out my blood sister is having an affair with my wife.. I have never been this dissapointed and sad in my life before. I really want to thank my stars I took courage to contact Spylordhack at gmail dot com and for all their tender kindness towards assisting me. Finding the right hacker is very difficullt so i imply everyone to take their time..Spylordhack at gmail dot com virtually the only hacker that seems fit for the job and i can stand by this notion anywhere.. you have to make the right decision and know what exactly you are doing in a relationship or else you get yourself in a place of being ripped off emotionally and financially at the same time..
    Spylordhack (a) g m a i l . co m
    Whatsapp or Text: +1 315 784 1311

    ReplyDelete
  8. I ran a new stop sign on my old street. I didn't know it was there, and the sun was coming up in a direction that blinded me when I was driving to work in August. I stopped too early, but I knew it was around that location. When I started driving again, the police officer was parked on the street across from the stop sign. I didn't want to be late for work, so I didn't want to try and explain what happened. Shortly after this incident, I moved to another city and didn't receive my court date paperwork until after the fact. I lost my ticket, and my license was suspended as a result. To cut the long story short my wife referred me to grayhathacks (she had read numerous positive testimonies about them online). I was skeptical at first. It was more like a test to hire them, I was curious to see what they would do and they exceeded my expectations. Within a few hours which seemed to be minutes they were able to erase this off my record. I was short for words with just how much they would do remotely and with the help of technology. Their hacking skills are incomparable that it's scary. Hats off to them. If you need help with any kind of hacking, you could reach out to them via email at grayhathacks@contractor.net
    Be sure to leave them a review as well I'm certain they'll impress you too.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I recently hired a team of hackers known as Grayhathacks to help me bust my cheating wife. They were able to clone her phone and with the help of sophisticated spyware, I was able to mirror her phone's activity and gain access to her emails, text messages, and other data. I was shocked and horrified to discover that not only was she cheating, but that she was actively planning to leave me and my 3 year old son. I couldn't believe the level of betrayal, as she ridiculed me with her friends while I was busy trying to make our marriage work.

    The process only took close to an hour, and I'm still spying on her as I haven't yet gathered enough courage to confront her. Every day, it seems like I discover more and more about her infidelity, and I'm heartbroken but relieved to have enough motive to close this bad chapter of my life. I hate that I had to resort to spying on her, but she left me no choice.

    I want to thank Grayhathacks for their professionalism, they are the real deal. I would not waste my time with any of these other hackers, and wish I had known about them sooner. The use of spywares, bugs, and malwares to hack into phones and other data is a highly technical and advanced process, and Grayhathacks were able to carry out the task with skill and expertise. I would highly recommend their services to anyone in a similar situation.
    You can email them at grayhathacks@contractor.net

    ReplyDelete
  10. Juliet and I want to utilize this platform to warn everyone about Cryptocurrency scams. Juliet and I were struggling financially a few months ago before a friend of mine gave me the name of a reputable and trustworthy company where I was assisted in recovering my stolen BTC and USDT. I accidentally transacted with a fake company, which led to my involvement in crypto investment fraud. I attempted to invest in Crypto, and I was conned out of $600,000 worth of Cryptocurrency. All thanks to Spyweb Cyber Security Service, A reliable and secure source to recover your crypto. I’m thankful we were able to get back our money. You can contact Spyweb Cyber with the information below.

    ( email: SPYWEB @ CYBERDUDE . COM )
    ( whats app: + 1 3 2 3 9 0 4 8 8 2 4 )
    ( website: SPYWEB . TECH )

    Goodluck

    ReplyDelete
  11. Get $2,000 USD everyday for 2 Yeras. Contact for more info email: ( darkwebonlinehackers@gmail.com ) or WhatsApp number : ( +18033921735 )

    ReplyDelete
  12. Considering the financial revolution sparked by cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin, the digital era has opened up a plethora of opportunities. But this exciting new world also comes with a terrible reality: in the harsh, brutal blockchain environment, there's always a danger you could lose your precious digital assets. Services like ADMIN HACKER PROGRAM are not merely recovery agents in this case; they are crypto lifelines, and my own experience attests to their vital importance. I had an amazing time exploring the world of Bitcoin on my own; it was exciting to be in a completely new place and to see the possibility of independent money. However, a careless mistake of choosing the incorrect platform for my investment sent me into total despair. It seemed as though my digital lifeblood, Bitcoin, had been devoured by the blockchain's vicious maw. Overwhelmed with hope, I began a frantic quest for solutions, looking up any clue of assistance on the internet. I discovered Admin HACKER PROGRAM at that point. Initially, I was filled with misgivings, but their unwavering professionalism and clear communication offered me a glimpse of hope. I set them the very impossible task of locating my missing fortune. The ADMIN HACKER PROGRAM team of professionals meticulously penetrated the labyrinthine depths of the blockchain with the aid of cutting-edge technology and years of honed experience, treating my case with the utmost care and respect and keeping me informed at every turn. I had never encountered anything like the recuperation process. The days of confusing technical jargon and excruciatingly long wait times were over. And then the miraculous happened. My Bitcoin miraculously reappeared in my wallet, coming safe and sound from the digital void in an almost amazing length of time. Integrating ADMIN HACKER PROGRAM into your Bitcoin recovery process is not as magical as waving a wand, but it sure feels like it with the seamless and effective tools it offers. By following best practices, training your staff, and learning from successful case studies, you can optimize your Bitcoin recovery efforts and stay ahead of potential risks. The future outlook for Bitcoin recovery with Admin HACKER PROGRAM looks promising, providing users with the confidence and tools they need to navigate the ever-evolving landscape of digital assets. It was a very happy moment that showcased the ADMIN RECOVERY SPECIALIST team's remarkable talent and dedication. However, my experience serves more purposes than just self-interest; it serves as a sobering reminder of the expanding demand for dependable and trustworthy bitcoin recovery services, such as Admin online recovery. Contact ADMIN HACKER PROGRAM now with:

    Email: admin@weicherthallmarks.com
    WhatsApp: +1 401 219-5530

    If you do contact ADMIN HACKER PROGRAM for assistance. Please Let them know I recommend you to their services. Thanks,

    ReplyDelete