The left side fuels my ego.
The right side keeps me firmly grounded in reality.
Many people have requested to see the other side, but there are very few people I've entrusted with exposing it. There was a scientific study I once read in TIME that said people do have a good side but I wondered what the ramifications of discovering it were? As a kid, I took pictures straight on, but once I found my 'good side', I never looked back.
I feel as though my 'good side' is the face I put forward for the world to see. It's a confident face, I believe in it. I see the beauty in it. And I lead with it. Not meaning to say that I walk with a permanent head tilt, just that I take pride in knowing that there's a side of me, the side I put forward, that represents what I'd like to represent.
The other side of me seems to represent the side I hide. The insecurities and the lack of confidence. I hide it, but it's there. My 'bad side' may become exposed when I stumble into the wrong lighting or lose control of a photo op. The same can be said for my negative feelings and insecurities which can be exposed if I feel I've stumbled into the 'wrong lighting' of my life.
Maybe in our mid-twenties, we are reaching the 'wrong lighting' stage of our life and putting our 'bad side' out there for the world to see. We may cry more often, be more vulnerable, and extend ourselves so we can reach the dreams we'd thought we'd have achieved by now. We wear our 'good side' to show other's we are confident, but as the years go on, and the TV characters we once looked to for guidance are 'our age', we can't help but feel we've missed the mark. Can we afford Manolo Blahniks? Have we met our lobster? Do we think we're beautiful? These television-scale dreams require good friends in our lives that support us, the ones that take the good side with the bad side, regardless of the lighting.
As we get older it becomes evident that we no longer need to lead only with our best, we can lead with all we've got. We can, and should, acknowledge our insecurities and shed some light on them. Proclaim to the world: I'm Elizabeth George and I'm a two-face.
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