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Saturday, June 07, 2014

Post First Date Trauma (PFDT)

As if going on a first date isn't traumatic enough, the real trauma occurs if it was a good date. What happens next?

DISCLAIMER: The following post is based on dating in general and does not depict one person or date in particular. Any similarities are purely coincidental...

If a date goes badly we can easily accept it and move on. But what if it was a good date and we want another? If we've taken a sip of the relationship kool-aid and we like it? 'We' being neurotic picky singles who want it all, and we want it all now. It must be the same feeling guys get when their relationship 'taxi light' turns on, except ours manifests on a person, not an idea. We inevitably ask ourselves, I like you... now what?

Basing this off of personal experience, after recently throwing myself back into the dating game, I've determined there are 10 post-date stages we go through:

1. That was amazing. I'm on cloud 9! 
2. Tell everyone.
3. I should text him.
4. Actually, why hasn't he texted me?
5. He hated me.
6. I'm texting him something reviewed, and approved, by all of my peers.
7. He hasn't replied...
9. I shouldn't have said anything. The date wasn't good anyway!
10. He replied. He loves me. We have a second date.

Now, I don't really know the solution to easing this Post First Date Trauma (PFDT), besides him texting you, but I do have some suggestions. Keep in mind, I did not follow these suggestions hence why I'm still single in the city.

Be Breezy
- Keep your cool, be calm, and stay confident. If you had fun and you liked him, it's great that you're able to self identify. (Figuring out what you like is better than trying to figure out what he likes).

Be Natural
- Don't disrupt the flow. If you want to text, text. But be sure you have something to say (and that you're prepared to know the answer).

Be Yourself
- It's the 21st century so if you want a second date, leave a little breathing space to absorb, and ask away! Be direct. Make it a question that can be answered with a simple 'yes' or 'no'.

Good luck to all you hopeless romantic singles out there and remember, going on a date and putting yourself out there is hard, but it can be worth it. They may not always feel the same way post-date, but that's a two way street. One day, putting yourself out there will payout in the most beautiful way. And if it doesn't? You'll always have two boyfriends tucked in your freezer. Mr. Ben and Mr. Jerry.  

- Elizabeth George

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