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Tuesday, March 26, 2013

All By Myself


When I first heard the song ‘All By Myself’ by Celine Dion, I was in my Grade 8 gym class at Westview Secondary School. I hadn’t had sex yet (that’ll be another 7 years, not joking). 
I was trying to bench press the minimum requirement for Grade 8 girls, which was just the bar (again, not joking). The guys had 5-pound weights on either end (to be cool). When I successfully put the bar back into the holding device, Celine Dion belted out “When making love was just for fun” and all I could think was: “Who makes love for fun?!”.



Keep in mind I was 13. I had thought sex was for people who were serious. I believed my friend who slept with a guy on a park bench was in a ‘serious’ relationship though, so what I deemed serious probably wasn’t ‘too serious’. 
It stuck with me for a while though – the song that is, not my Grade 8 definition of serious.  I tried to figure out what the song meant. I hadn’t even kissed anyone so I couldn’t wrap my head around it.
Fast forward to Tuesday March 26th, 2013, aka RIGHT NOW. I decided to spend my night organizing, tidying, cleaning, not eating (diet), not shopping (Lent) and watching one of my favourite movies – Bridget Jones’ Diary.
I used to tell potential guys that my future is like Bridget Jones, but they'd always dispute it. Maybe it was because they didn’t want to face the idea that they were dating a slightly overweight blonde woman who’s fear was dying alone and being eaten by dogs, especially when a dog was already at the foot of the bed…
When Bridget Jones was singing All By Myself, in pyjamas similar to the ones I’m currently wearing, interrupted my evening of daydreaming about my perfect man, it all clicked. That song is now relatable to me, and I can’t help but seriously reflect upon my own life when listening to it.
24 and all by myself – I now know that ‘making love for fun’ does happen, and that maybe, just maybe, I am ready for something deeper.

And to answer to my Grade 8 existential question; EVERYONE, including you... 



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2 comments:

  1. Keep in mind I was 13. I had thought sex was for people who were serious. I believed my friend who slept with a guy on a park bench was in a ‘serious’ relationship though, so what I deemed serious probably wasn’t ‘too serious’.
    It stuck with me for a while though – the song that is, not my Grade 8 definition of serious. I tried to figure out what the song meant. I hadn’t even kissed anyone so I couldn’t wrap my head around it.
    Fast forward to Tuesday March 2

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